Saturday morning.

Got 5 hours of sleep, it sprinkled a bit last night, and woke to a lovely 54°. Our day at the beach has been postponed. Just started raining now, and for the next 22 minutes. 

Let me bring you up to date: 

We were going to meet up here with the Bells and Fischers. Before coming, I texted Aaron and asked what his plans were. Said it wouldn’t change mine, but need to know. He said they were staying Sunday night in the Dolphin. 

The weather started changing the plans. 

Not one to doubt others but Jess says they can’t stay overnight because of work on Memorial Day? And she seems quick to cancel, or at least her part in it. 

Family dynamics at work here. I plan a Memorial Day & Ben’s birthday celebration, outside, which implies last minute changes. Diane sums up her enthusiasm (NBD) and sides with Jess, who then TEXTS Aaron to see what he wants to do?

Aaron, trying to straddle the fence, leans toward total cancellation. At this point, Jess has already planned on dumping the kids on me. Ben and Steph are coming anyway. 

I missed the texts saying, “We still need to drop kids off to camp though.” 

Am I reading too much into this?

Olive and Mia, dropped off at Pop-Pop’s summer camp. Works for me.

I also missed where it was getting annoying. I annoy Jess, she has a hard time even being around me. But this text thread is annoying? 

What does one do when a loved one finds them annoying, or at least difficult to be around? Or at least just not on any lists of top five friends? (Dwight & his insurrectionist buddies).

I’ve tried to put myself in others’ shoes in this regard. How would I treat a guy I just did not like, but came to family events? For sake of this exercise, let’s call him Jimmy Markey, my former broker in law.

1. So, what would Jimmy be able to do to win me over? 

• Not be so annoying? 

1. Would I be on the lookout for anything that could be construed as annoying? Even texts?

• Sure, I’m only human. 

1. What if Jimmy invited me over for a little one-on-one time? What the hell? 

• Would I eventually go, to make him feel better? I just don’t like to be around him. 

This is how I perceive that my youngest brother and oldest daughter feel about me. What can I do about it, tell Jess, “I’m not as annoying as I became during lockdown.”

Jess doesn’t respond to my texts in a timely fashion, has been postponing my virtual request for some time together. (Wanted to make it a date to watch a Timberwolves, (season ended) or Wild game (season has since ended, after 6 games in Stanley Cup Playoffs). 

I fear that Jess didn’t know Aaron said they were camping Sunday night. I use the word, fear, because if they start to crumble in their communications, like Nama and me, they’re in for some toxic times.

But the text thread, trying to alter the plans due to the most updated forecast, which had changed in the last few days?

THIS FEELS ANNOYING?

What can I do to win her back? What can Jimmy do to win me back? 

Not much. 

At this stage, Jess went from cancelling even coming out, to canceling sleeping over, but now, in the middle of this, all these texts coming at me fast, the girls are staying overnight without heir parents?

And on top of that, when they are packing the kids off to play in the water with their Pop-Pop, you would think they’d toss in the kid’s kayak I bought them? That’s just some passive aggressive bullshit. And if no thought was really put into it, cuz I’m Jessica’s Jimmy, it’s just sad. 

ON THE POSITIVE SIDE: Having the girls interrupt my silent retreat? It was heaven. 

I’m not ready for prime time in my interviewing kids. 

Next morning 

I got 5 hours of sleep. We all shared a huge double sleeping bag on my queen sized mattress. We were on a slight slope downward so we’d have to shift back up a couple times. At 4:30, Mia wakes up and says, startled, “What is that noise, Pop-Pop?

“It’s a huge train with a loud whistle,” I laughed. “What did you think it was?”

I think she wasn’t fully conscious. 

Up at 6:00, and W&B in giddy anticipation of what was in store. Olive wanted to buy leeches and go for the walleyes. She listened as I teased the two local cops who claimed there were walleye in there but nobody is catching them. I said I was gonna buy me some lee he’s and I know where they are. (I was showing off to Olive, talking to cops nicely and all. #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd

“I want to fish with leeches,” she said. “But they’re scary, I don’t want to have to touch it, okay, Pops?”

Mia was reading a chapter book. She had three hours or more of reading. I’ve never been prouder. She was diagnosed as dyslexic a couple years ago and the white privilege that allowed the to have one of the best tutors is what others are jealous when it falls our way? Are we not supposed to “bask in the glory of white privileged?” Well, that’s extreme but you get the point. Plus, she now loves to read!

6:54 AM While writing in the car, Olive wakes up, finds me and gives me back my glasses. “You staying up?” I asked.

“Nope.” And she scurried back, across the wet grass barefoot to sleep. 

Olive did not want to get off this thing, asked if she could paddle out past the buoys, alone, and is amazing to boot!

I took all the seats out, and it’s like a cargo van. But with two passengers, Voila! A tucked away seat! 

When you solo camp, you just don’t feast like when you have two girls who’d rather have lovey bait than good, all American breakfast.

Mia taught this old man what good, crispy bacon is, and it’s good. #Bravo Mia!