N.A.D.M.

N.A.D.M. means "never a dull moment," which is my life. I woke on this holiday and had a goal of taking no Buspirone. I was getting to like my self-talk in that there wasn't much negative crap rolling around my head. But I decided I better check my checking account cuz I was on thin ice there. I mailed in my rent check, which is $720. I have my internet bill coming out automatically for $36 tomorrow. Oops, only $703 in my account?
WTF?

Peggy was hiring me to do some work around her place, first installing a shelf, and then painting. I told her I was a bit tight and would it be possible for me to put in five hours and have her deposit the cash in my account today? She didn't like that.

Here's the interesting part. I was looking at my payment history (which I never do, but Peggy asked me to), and "DietKing" showed up for June 27th for $74.99. I didn't catch that, Peggy did.

After more than an hour, three phone calls, etc. and taking not just half a Buspirone but a whole one, I'm back on track. I came home to capture the moment and then I'm off to swim and then to paint.

She saw this weakness in me, i.e. my anxiety when I try to handle my finances. She is going to help me with it, and that's a concern. I don't want her to feel resentment for that later. But I need help, or do I? Is that enabling me? I dunno.

We're going to ride bikes downtown at dusk after she gets back from a pool party while I'm painging. I have $18 dollar coins to my name that Mark gave me for Christmas. I don't want to borrow money from Peggy. But maybe she'll buy me something to eat downtown.

I'm really that broke.